Matters' of the Heart

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Matters’ of the Heart is a weekly column written by Daniel and Sharon, and it allows the reader to comment on articles and suggest new topics for discussion. Email your topic to the Administrator at admin@zadanservices.com

 

Week 1

How do I know whether he/she really loves me?

 

This is a thought provoking question that has been asked time and time again and would continue to be asked by those who feel that they are in love. This is a question that has been asked by both genders at varying ages. But how can you really know for sure? This is the key that unlock most relationships, knowing whether the other person really loves you. Most columns that deal with matters' of the heart, like Dear Christine, never really give real solutions or advice, rather they feed readers with the mess they want to hear and continue to do so for whatever reason, I don’t know. First, we need to understand certain facts of life before we can understand the nature of what we are trying to grasp.

Have you ever wondered why when you move from one country to another or from one place to another you tend to fall in love all over again? What about when you meet someone new? Why are you attracted to that hot figure or ghetto individual? What turns you on? Why are you searching for that perfect companion when there is none that is perfect? What about the wealthy lifestyle that you dream about? Now let’s search for the real answers.

 It is mankind’s nature to be fruitful and multiply, also it is in our genes to have sexual intercourse. No matter how much you fight the feelings...it is always there....we want to be touched and feel the affection of another. Some have longed for this affection that they no longer look to the opposite sex.  So now that we know that we were created to be sexual beings, what’s next? Why are we attracted to each other? Again, it is in our nature to be attracted to the opposite sex. Apart from the nature...in today’s world....there are different facts that are involved. Let’s examine some of them:

  1. Money
  2. Power
  3. Beauty
  4. Relocation
  5. Property
  6. Education

Which category attracted you to your spouse/girlfriend, etc? Ok then, it was never love...got you. So most relationships never started out on loving each other, despite there are some...I would argue that childhood love affairs are real and mine that was made in heaven. To Love someone means you have to be with that individual for some amount of years before you can actually love him/her...you have to know their inner secrets....everything about them. Then you can say that you truly love that individual. The truth is: someone can do certain things and make you believe that they really care. The only way to know if an individual really loves you is to be down and out...doesn’t own a damn thing and see what happens. If they know that you own something of value it might just be a game. A woman/man can give you a good ride and tell you that she/he cares about you but at the end of it all, counting her/his pay cheque. That is how sad and deceitful matters' of the heart have become. But how do I know whether he/she loves me or not? My answer is: you would never really know...only time will tell....in the meanwhile make conscious decisions that would safeguard your life from those fakes that claim to love and have another on the side. AIDS is real...so is your life.

Next Topic: What makes your man/woman cheat? (Sunday 4th September, 2011)

Week 2

What really cause a man or woman to cheat???

 

What really cause a spouse/mate or girlfriend/boyfriend to cheat?  This is a question that millions of people are asking themselves, their mate, and others.

First of all, let’s define relationship.  In the dictionary, relationship is defined as (1) the way in which two concepts, objects, or people are connected and (2) the state of being connected by blood or marriage.  We, as humans, define relationship as being just connected between two people (Ex: husband & wife).

A relationship is based upon two key elements:  Honesty and trust

          Honesty is being honest, truthful, and fair right from the beginning.

          Trust is a person which one relies on ….have confidence in.

Without these two elements, your relationship is nothing.  They both go hand in hand.  How can you have one without the other……….there’s no way you can.  How can you trust your other half when he/she haven’t been honest……you can’t or you won’t?  That’s just like buying a car and never putting gas in it…..the car will never move.  Without honesty and trust, there’s bound to be a leak (cheating mate) in the relationship.

Cheating is the number one reason for destroying marriages/relationships.  Let’s look at some reasons why people cheat: 

  • Fun and excitement- partners cheat for adventure and games. He/ she like trying something new and develop an excitement and just like doing it.
  • Boredom- after spending time or being around your mate so much, one gets the feeling of being bored and wants a change.
  • Bad sex or No sex- SEX plays an important role in the marriage.  If the partner is not having no sex or not being sexually satisfied by the other partner then cheating is going to happen quickly.  Remember, SEX can strengthen the relationship/marriage between the man and woman.
  • Hidden Desires fulfillment- you can expect a lot from your mate but when the desire is not being fulfilled……he/she will go to get whatever they are missing from their partner.

Lack of morals will cause him/her to cheat also.  Your character should be just to withstand the temptations of this world.  The mate will commit adultery even when he/she knows it is wrong…why??? It’s the lifestyle that they are around.  You know how the saying goes……..monkey see, monkey do.

In closing, if you are in a relationship, love the man or woman you married wholeheartedly because diseases have no certain person!!!!

 

I agree with this writer....love your partner wholeheartedly and stick to him/her only.

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